Brief Reflections: The Missing Scenes
by YenGirl
Summary: The missing lemons from Brief Reflections. What actually happened in Chapter Nine and how the tradition in Chapter 10 started. Kaien Cross and Touga Yagari. COMPLETE.
1. Chap 1: Missing lemon from BR Chap 9

**Author Notes:** Oh dear. I wasn't planning to start another CrossxYagari story again, at least not so soon, but what can I say? An adorable eye patched bunny appeared courtesy of **AgateLinks** and **VaneCaos** who both wanted an awkward lemon for this unexpectedly adorable couple.

**Summary:** What actually happened in Chapter Nine of my CrossxYagari story Brief Reflections. This story appears longer than it actually is, because I included some text (italicised) from Chapter Nine, to make the flow of the story better.

**Pre-requisite:** Oh, this would _definitely_ make more sense if you've read Brief Reflections :D The chapters are pretty short, don't worry!

**Warning:** Yaoi lemon. Uhm…awkward yaoi lemon… _–blushes–_

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Vampire Knight or its characters, that honour belongs to Matsuri Hino.

-- Start --

_A different sort of silence grew between them now, no longer awkward but filled with awareness, desire and slowly building heat. After a moment, Cross swallowed. "You were saying...?" he murmured. Because there was no mistaking the sheer lust on his friend's face now._

_That made Yagari look at him. "Forget it," he muttered thickly. Then he was reaching out with both arms and Cross found himself being crushed to that muscular frame as he was kissed hungrily. He reciprocated in kind and the kiss swiftly escalated into equally hungry and urgent caresses, Cross almost tearing the buttons off Yagari's shirt, half out of his mind with desire at his friend's strong but trembling hands on his shower cooled skin._

_To heck with it all, so what if it was still insane..._

Yagari's cotton shirt fell onto the floor for the second time in as many days and Cross' hands moved to his friend's belt buckle. He was unable to stop himself from dropping light, caressing kisses on the warm, muscular chest in front of him at the same time. The ex-hunter's trembling hands fumbled on the metal clasp because Yagari's fingers were busily roaming over him as well - thrusting into his wet hair to angle his face a little more to the side and make their lips fit more snugly against each other, moving his large and calloused palms down to map the smooth planes of Cross' shoulders and chest and unexpectedly gentling on the scarred side.

Cross broke the heated and demanding kiss, giving a little gasp as roughened fingertips found his taut nipples and teased them a little tentatively, but boldly. Somehow, the ex-hunter managed to yank his friend's jeans button free then set to work pulling the zipper below it downward, his breath coming out unevenly between his parted lips. Yagari muttered a fervent curse as he hooked his thumbs in his jeans, pushing them impatiently down his lean hips and stepping out of them. The hungry way Cross was staring at him now made Yagari reach for his friend again. Both of them were completely naked now, the wet towel having fallen unheeded to the floor. Neither of them bothered to deny the attraction between them; neither would have believed the other, anyway.

Warm lips met once again as damp bodies pressed together urgently. Hands grew more fevered, searching, rubbing, even pinching. Yagari closed his eye, letting instinct guide him as his lips travelled over Cross' ear, pushing the shampoo-fresh long hair out of the way before he sucked insistently on the flushed skin at the back of his friend's neck. The soft mewl from Cross and the way his body jerked a little made the tall hunter growl in sensual triumph.

Without quite knowing how, both men managed to stumble over to the bed and ended up kneeling on its edge, facing each other. Cross' hands slid urgently all over Yagari's chest, feeling the hot skin almost pulsing beneath his fingertips and palms. Vampire hunters were trained to make full use of all the senses they had. The very predatory nature of the vampires they hunted – faster, more agile than humans made this necessary not only for their success but for their very survival in the hunt. It had been years since Cross completed his training but all his senses were on full alert, each one of them tuned directly to Yagari. The ex-hunter opened his eyes, searching out Yagari's desire-flushed face, loving how he looked - long, tangled hair, scars and all. The eye patch was gone but the taller hunter seemed oblivious of it, his blue eye glowing with heated intent as he caressed and lavished kisses on his friend's body urgently.

Yagari bent his head further and claimed a taut nipple, making Cross breathe a curse that sounded almost like a prayer. Breathing raggedly, the ex-hunter clasped his friend's straining flesh almost reverently in both hands. Yagari groaned against his chest, stilling for a moment as he looked down. Cross looked as well - he wanted to see what he was holding. And he wanted to see his friend's reaction, too.

"Touga, look at me," he requested breathlessly.

Yagari's head came up, his expression startled and just a little bit uncertain. Cross drank in the rare but captivating sight and took the opportunity to stroke his friend's straining arousal with his fist, eliciting a rather scandalised-sounding gasp from Yagari as moisture from his engorged tip made Cross' fingers slide smoothly up and down his length. Cross looked up at the sound of that small gasp, his brown eyes dark now with desire. He smiled at Yagari, a smile his friend had never seen before, intense with need and passion but sweet with pleasure. "Touga," he murmured huskily, his hand moving faster now, more determined.

It was wonderful. It was deliriously wonderful, but... Biting off a curse, Yagari moved his hand over Cross', stilling him. "St-Stop, Kaien," he managed. "Otherwise, this is going to end up sooner than I want it to…"

Cross swallowed and nodded, loosening his fingers and letting his hand fall back onto his lap. "Uh, OK," he muttered, shifting back a little. He didn't even think of hiding the disappointment in his voice and that made Yagari's heart leap a little wildly into his throat, lodging and swelling there – for a moment, he couldn't even say a word.

Cross darted an uncertain look at him. He opened his mouth, hesitated, then forced himself to speak. "How - how do you want me, then?" he managed to get out past suddenly dry lips. Yagari scowled his confusion.

"Uh, I mean, that is –" stuttered Cross, flushing deeply. "On my back or – or on my…" The last word stuck in his throat. Somehow, he found it just too humiliating to voice out.

Oh. Well, er... Honestly, Yagari hadn't thought about _that _bit. His thoughts floundered as his mind immediately came up with mental picture of his nude friend in both positions, one at a time. Together, they almost short-circuited his sluggish thought processes.

Cross saw the confusion stamped on his friend's features and he decided for them both. The ex-hunter shifted sideways then fell forward, still on his knees and resting his forearms on the bed. He looked back at a stupefied Yagari. "Uh... like - like this?" Cross managed to stammer out, ignoring the fact that his face was now burning hot enough to burst into flames, and that his hair had likely dried out completely as a result.

Yagari blinked his eye a couple of times, staring down at his friend like he'd never seen him before. Well, definitely not in this position at least - this was a pose new to both of them! Cross flushed even more at his friend's disbelieving stare, feeling his ears burn as well. _Crap, talk about awkward... come on, Touga, don't just stare at me like that!_

The dark haired hunter cleared his throat. "So," he began then stopped. "You, ah, ready?" he asked uncertainly, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the deepening colour in his lean cheeks even though he could see his friend's face was already rosily so.

Yagari sounded like he was being forced to do something against his will. It wasn't a very reassuring fact to realise and Cross swallowed before turning back and pillowing his forehead on his crossed forearms, forcing himself to spread his knees a little – purely for balance, he told himself firmly. Then he stiffened – Yagari's large and roughened hands touched his vulnerably bare hips, pulling him back a little. His buttocks came up against warm skin and hard muscles – that had to be Yagari's flat abdomen. Cross then felt something hot and hard prod his inner thigh – that had to be his… uh… _Oh God._ Cross' eyes squeezed shut. I know he isn't small but _please_ tell me that isn't as big as it feels...

Cross thought he heard a muttered prayer behind him and he held his breath, resolutely keeping his forehead on his arms. That blunt, hard length was now probing purposefully between his buttocks, rubbing up against his suddenly very, very vulnerable entrance. Those large hands on either side of his hips tightened now, fingers clamping onto soft flesh then Yagari pushed forward. It was more of a sudden, involuntary jerk rather than a smooth, sure motion and Cross gasped in shock and pain, his whole body tensing up, quivering.

God, that bloody _hurt! Ow!_

"Uh, Toug –"

Another purposeful jerk. _What the - ouch!_

Yagari was in. Just barely but they both knew he was in, no mistake about that.

"Uhm, wait – agh!" Yagari's hard fingers tightened even more on the softer flesh of his hips and Cross almost yelled out as his inexperienced and nervous partner dealt him a shove harder than the previous two had been. "Ouch, stop it! Damn it, stop what you're doing, Touga! You need to use something first!"

Yagari froze, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. A drop of sweat had trickled down his forehead and into his eye, smarting briefly. He swallowed past a dry throat – Cross was warm. Very warm. Actually, he felt hot. And tight. So very, very tight. Tighter than anyone he'd ever had, not that he'd actually tried _this _particular location...

Then he frowned as his half melted brain finally caught up and digested the rest of Cross' words. "Need to use what?" he asked somewhat curiously.

Cross had lifted his head and was looking over his shoulder at Yagari. The ex-hunter's mouth opened, then shut again. "Lu-lubrication, damnit, for – for easing the… uh, friction," he mumbled, trying his best to ignore the part of him that was still being stretched and aching fiercely.

Yagari blinked. This was new – he'd never really had to use any such thing with his ex-wife or the ladies he'd made love to in the past. He'd always made sure they were already amply... ah, ready, when he was. And he'd never taken them this way, either. He blinked again. So... taking a - male was really different, huh?

Cross shifted forward and disengaged them with a soft groan before he turned around and sat up, bare legs folded to one side. Yagari hadn't moved and was still kneeling there looking uncertain and perplexed. And more than a little anxious.

Whatever irritation or annoyance he'd felt drained away and Cross simply sighed, combing back his long hair with his fingers. He'd never done this before but he _had_ read up on the subject previously - strictly for academic reasons, of course. Women were different, their bodies designed to provide natural lubrication once aroused. Men were designed similarly too, just not for the recipient of the same gender – a rather obvious fact but apparently one Yagari had either not thought of or had forgotten about.

"So... you have the stuff?" Yagari asked slowly, looking around him as if he expected some lube to magically appear right in front of him, ready for his use.

Cross snorted immediately. "Nope," he said promptly. "Never needed it..."

Yagari half glared at him. "Me neither" he countered.

For a moment, they looked grimly at each other, each daring the other to make some remark on their sexual prowess with the opposite sex.

Yagari's gaze fell first but after a moment, he looked enquiringly at his friend. "So... how do we do this?" he asked. Cross' lips thinned with sudden annoyance. _Why did Touga think he had all the answers?! _"Use something else!" he bit out tersely.

"Like what, Kaien?" Yagari persisted in feigning ignorance.

Cross glanced around his room, tried to say the words out loud, failed, looked at his friend again and found his attention caught by the few drops of clear moisture that were beading on the rosy tip of his friend's straining flesh. "That," he said succinctly and pointed.

"Ah..." The frown on Yagari's face cleared as he glanced downward at himself, then up again at Cross.

Cross nodded tentatively. "That, or… eh, saliva…"

Yagari paused in the midst of moistening his fingertips with his own fluids, now happily unconcerned at the fact that they were both naked. "Saliva," he mumbled. Then he froze as he thought of something. He glared suspiciously at Cross. "Yours or mine?" he asked.

Cross shrugged. "It doesn't matter, I guess," he answered, striving for a normal tone, as if this was something they discussed on a daily basis. Like where to go for drinks. Or the weather.

Yagari frowned dangerously. "I meant last night, Kaien," he elaborated, looking grimly at his friend.

Cross flushed even more as he bit his lip. "Mine, OK? Look - you were out of it, Touga!" he defended himself.

Yagari blinked. Oh. "And now?" he asked sceptically.

Cross huffed. "I don't know! Yours, mine, what does it matter?" he blurted out, trying to stop what seemed like his entire body from flushing hotly.

Yagari stared at him in silence. But it seemed like he was thinking about what Cross had said because unexpectedly, the taller hunter shrugged and gave a rare, crooked sort of half smile. "Well then, let's try it, shall we?" he suggested in a softer tone.

Cross' eyes widened in surprise then he nodded, feeling his heart melt a little under the force of that unexpected smile that was strangely... sweet. "I – OK," he said tentatively. He shifted and lay down on his back against the pillows, bending his knees and catching himself on his elbows. Yagari shifted closer then paused.

Cross lifted an eyebrow. "What?"

"Aren't... aren't you going to turn around, Kaien?"

The hunter was his usual blunt self again and Cross flushed anew. "I - I want to see you, Touga," he replied honestly. He found the other way rather... distant, in that he couldn't see Yagari's face, or even touch him. And he wanted to do both. Very much.

"Oh." Yagari sounded like that it had never occurred to him before what Cross wanted. The dark haired hunter sort of preferred the other way around, because he was half hoping he wouldn't have to see his friend's face when he took him. Yagari really didn't know how he was going to be able to look Cross in the eye again after this... He bent forward and reached his hand between his friend's legs, wet fingertips probing cautiously. Cross found himself holding his breath. One strong, lean finger pressed onto his sensitive flesh and pushed forward. Cross winced – ouch. That could have gone in a bit more slowly. Much more slowly, actually...

Yagari's gaze was on him and he had stopped. Cross held his look mutely and forced himself to relax. It took a substantial amount of trust on his part, but he nodded in silent encouragement. To his credit and to Cross' huge relief, Yagari saw and understood that trust. He experimented with that one finger, his movements awkward and uncertain... but at least gentle. Slowly, Cross relaxed for real on the bed.

It really was a very tight fit, even with only one finger and Yagari thought that he should stretch his friend a little more. After all, one finger was nothing compared to his erection, was it? He was also strangely fascinated by the uncertain but very real pleasure that appeared on Cross' face and he wanted to see more of it. Slowly, Yagari added a second finger but the moisture on it had long since evaporated and Cross gave an accidental whimper, his hips squirming on the bed. He didn't want to say anything but his eyes begged mutely for his friend to stop.

Yagari froze again.

"It's too dr - use your saliva, damnit!" Cross blurted out, panting a little.

"Oh - sorry," Yagari murmured as he withdrew his hand. He half turned away and spat as discreetly as he could onto his fingers, rubbing them together and coating them well. Then he turned back to Cross again, ignoring the look of trepidation his friend was half hiding. The first finger went in more easily this time, the second less so. Cross winced again, his breathing light and uneven. Already nervous muscles tensing up, his thighs swung close together in an instinctive, defensive movement. Yagari's other hand automatically moved to part them because his other hand was still trapped between Cross' legs. Then the taller hunter stopped, seeing the tenseness in his friend's face. Yagari stilled both his hands and just... waited. Despite his overall uncertainty and anxiousness, the one thing he was clear about was that he didn't want to hurt his friend.

Cross exhaled shakily and forced his thighs to stay relaxed and after a moment, they parted as the stretching discomfort faded. Yagari ignored his own aching arousal as he stroked and stretched his friend slowly, as best he could, taking satisfaction in the pleasure that showed on Cross face once more. But at length, Yagari pulled away, his own chest heaving and his breathing increasingly laboured. He wanted... more.

"Touga?" Cross' voice was soft and Yagari looked at him hesitantly.

"Do it. Now."

Yagari nodded and shifted closer, his large hands reaching under Cross' thighs, lifting him a little. Then he moved even closer. But Yagari was still sitting upright, and Cross' arms felt empty. "Wait – come closer, Touga. Bend over me," he requested softly.

Yagari gave him a startled look, stilling again. "What?" Then "Why?" he said, frowning in confusion.

Cross' smile was tentative but as honest as ever. "Because I want to hold you." _Can't you see I'm still a bit… scared… here?_

Yagari's frown disappeared. He nodded and released his friend's hips before bending forward, bracing his hands on the pillow on either side of his friend's head. "Like this, Kaien?" he asked huskily, his face just two inches away.

"Yes," murmured Cross with a heartfelt sigh, relaxing more onto the bed as their warm breath mingled between them. The ex-hunter reached up to offer his friend a light kiss, his hands sliding up as well to glide smoothly over warm and muscled shoulders before linking his fingers over the dark curls at the nape of Yagari's neck. Cross bent his legs more, letting the smooth skin of his inner thighs and knees rub sensuously over his friend's lean hips.

They silently traded one look seeking permission and one offering encouragement, then both of them held their breaths as Yagari's hips rocked forward once more and he dipped his head to capture his partner's lips with his own. Slowly, the taller hunter laid claim to his friend's willing body as they kissed.

It was incredible – Cross literally couldn't think. All he could feel, all he was aware of was the man half lying on top of him, claiming his lips and his body at the same time, past shaky breaths and soft sighs, past audible gasps and muted groans... past pain, embarrassment and hesitation... to pure pleasure. When they were finally merged as deeply as they could be, they laid still for a moment, breathing hard. Then Yagari lifted his head, his expression filled with awe. He never in a thousand years would have imagined that it could feel as good as it did now. For him, there was no physical pain, only incredible bliss, but for his friend...

"Kaien, you OK?" he asked somewhat anxiously. His thudding heart filled with sudden warmth as Cross smiled up at him. "Yeah," he murmured, shifting a little before slowly thrusting his hips up against his friend's. No further invitation was needed – Yagari rose up onto straightened arms and pushed down, his heart pounding in his ears and his breath shuddering hard in his chest as he slowly, slowly slid in and out of that tight, tight warmth that was his friend's voluntary offering to him, forcing himself to not just take Cross hard and rough.

Yagari's eyes fluttered close as did Cross'. Muscles bunched and flexed as lean hips moved faster now, settling into a new yet familiar rhythm that felt right, that felt unexpectedly good for both of them. Heated desire raced through veins, tendons and muscles, quickening their pace as they moved together on the bed, Yagari thrusting harder now, deeper each time, his lower body sliding enticingly against Cross' arousal each time. But it wasn't deep enough for Yagari - he longed to merge into his friend more completely. The taller hunter lowered himself onto Cross, gathering him up in his arms and holding him firmly. Ah, much better – Yagari's thrusts were deeper now and he went as deep as he could. Unexpectedly, each thrust made Cross' sweat slicked body jerk, both from being taken so intimately as well as from pleasurable tingles that radiated out from the very core of him, jolting his body and hitching his breath each time. _What on earth…_

"Touga!" Cross gasped as he thrust his hips up against his friend's, anticipating that instant when upward thrust met downward one, his fingers tightening on the flushed and damp skin of Yagari's heaving shoulders. His throbbing arousal was pinned between their bodies and he couldn't reach it but it didn't matter. His groin was full, aching... he knew it was only a matter of time before he climaxed on the strength of this alone. Each of Yagari's frantic movements filled him deeply, physically as well as emotionally. He'd never dreamed of being claimed like this, he'd never dreamed that he could even like it, but he could now and he did, because of _who_ was the one taking him.

"Kaien, I can't... wait!" groaned Yagari in turn. White hot desire had wound tight and burning hot in him, centering in his groin and in his throbbing arousal, buried deeply in his friend. The feeling of continuously driving his length into his friend's tight and moist heat defied description and he spiralled helplessly to the edge of reason.

Instinctively, Yagari knew he was closer to release than Cross was. But he didn't want to be alone anymore... Freeing a hand and lifting his body up a little, Yagari balanced his weight onto his other elbow. Shuddering deeply, desperately trying to rein in his desire, the taller hunter groped blindly between their wildly bucking bodies. His urgent fingers found Cross' straining flesh and moist tip and he fisted that length, pumping it almost fiercely, wanting both of them to tumble into blissful release together.

Cross' head thrashed about on the pillow, his heartbeat drumming in his ears and in his chest – Yagari's fierce plundering of his body was a wild joy all his own but when he felt those warm, strong fingers grasping and stroking him from hard base to engorged tip and back down again, his own moisture making Yagari's fingers slide erotically against his velvety, flushed skin, Cross almost sobbed with the intensity of the pleasure racing through him, sweeping him to the edge. It was almost... too much pleasure.

His body tightened and he thrashed under Yagari with soft cries, he wanted to explode so much... and he did. Even as Yagari's frantic thrusts stilled, even as the taller hunter froze above him, letting loose a hoarse and inarticulate cry before jerking hard into him again and again, Cross reached his release as well, showing his pleasure in the sticky, liquid warmth that spurted out from him, coating Yagari's fingers and their stomachs. They collapsed together on the bed, panting hard, chests heaving and minds blissfully blanked out from the sheer pleasure of their releases.

Both men didn't say anything for the first few minutes. What had started out as being awkward and embarrassing, had ended up feeling incredibly good, better than either had tentatively expected or even hoped for.

_Yagari was silent as he listened to the pounding of Cross' heart beneath his ear and felt his own ragged breathing started to slow down. His head was pillowed on Cross' chest, their sweat slicked bodies pressed closed together, and he relaxed, feeling gentle fingers caress his back slowly in soothing circular motions._

_"Kaien, are - are you all right?" he asked quietly after a while. The fingers paused for a moment, then resumed. "Uhm hmm...," Cross sounded sleepy but sated, and Yagari raised his head. "Really?" he asked, somewhat curiously. The slightly vulnerable look on his face was adorable and Cross smiled lazily. "Really," he replied dryly. "I'd have thought that was pretty obvious just now..."_

_A slow smile tilted Yagari's lips. Yup, certain reactions just couldn't be faked... "It - it doesn't, you know, hurt?" he asked tentatively. Cross shifted slightly under him and grimaced. "Actually, now that you mention it, it does... a lot," he admitted. He sounded strangely unconcerned, though, and that only made Yagari frown even more. "You don't look like you mind too much," he countered, a dawning suspicion uncurling in his mind. Cross read that look accurately and chuckled. "No, this __was __my first time... like this," he reassured his friend._

_Yagari braced his weight onto his hands, trying to slide off his friend but bare legs curled around his hips, stopping him, and Cross arched his neck to press a light kiss onto his lips. "But it's OK. Because it's you," he said simply. Cross knew it was kind of - risky - exposing his feelings to his friend so fast, but he wasn't the type to keep things to himself, unless he really had to. And besides, it was probably too late for hiding feelings now... after all, he could have said no to Touga last night, but he hadn't. And he needn't have offered himself just now in the kitchen, but he had._

_Touga was looking uncertain again. "Sorry," he muttered after a moment, feeling an apology was due. After all, he didn't really know what he was doing, even though it'd felt pretty good to him. And he knew he had definitely hurt his friend... initially at least, if that pained gasp was anything to go by, even though it had ended most satisfactorily for both of them._

_That unexpected apology made Cross smile - Touga really was something else under that brash and cock sure attitude of his, and it made all sorts of strangely protective feelings arise in the ex-hunter again. "Don't be," he said, then gave a small shrug. "I don't think I did it perfectly last night, either."_

_Yagari digested that, then nodded slowly. He slid off his friend now and sat up, but he couldn't seem to stop staring at Cross. "So... what now?" he asked finally. __Talk about a screwed up situation..._

_Cross sat up as well, absently combing his fingers through his still damp hair. He sighed then pursed his lips, oblivious of the fact that it had caught Yagari's rapt attention. "I don't know," he admitted quietly. "We're still friends, aren't we?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at his friend._

_"'Friends'?!" choked out Yagari, both eyebrows well up. "How can we still be __friends__, Kaien? I mean -" he gestured somewhat wildly at their bare chests. "... we just - I just - __hell!__" he broke off abruptly, shaking his head. But Cross only shrugged again. "Why not?" he asked quietly. "I still like you a lot, Touga, and...," he hesitated then plowed on, hoping this wouldn't blow up in his face "... and I may even already love you, a little..." His voice wasn't quite as steady as his look._

_Yagari stared at him in amazement, then he swallowed hard. "You - you really mean that?" he asked, and that touchingly uncertain look made Cross reach for him. "Yes, I do," he accentuated his words with a light kiss, then drew back slightly to gauge his friend's reaction. But Yagari leaned forward, seeking to kiss him again as he pressed the ex-hunter back against the pillows. Cross placed his fingers against his friend's lips to stop him. "Wait, Touga, what about you?"_

_But the uncertain look had disappeared and Yagari was smiling at him seductively now. "Friends...," he murmured then bent down to capture his friend's lips in a slow and thorough kiss. "... and lovers," he added, before kissing him again._

_So it was settled then, and nothing more needed to be said._

_Then or now._

- o -

The following day, Kaien Cross broke off his budding relationship with the lady he'd been dating at that time. To him, it was pointless to go on seeing her when there was already someone else in his life – his ex-partner and good friend, vampire hunter Touga Yagari. Even though they'd barely started being lovers, Cross knew. There would not be anyone else for him, now that he'd made love with Yagari. He wasn't really sure of the extent of his friend's affection for him but Cross was an honest person. He could not love two people like that at the same time, regardless of their gender. It would be unfair to them, as well as to his own principles and even his heart.

But Yagari did not call him after leaving his house that momentous day. And Cross couldn't bring himself to call him either. As slowly passing days and nights stretched into a week, the ex-hunter grew increasingly nervous even as he tried to keep himself busy with his on-going plans for his new school and caring for little Yuuki. He couldn't help wondering if Yagari had changed his mind about having a relationship with his friend and ex-colleague. The past one week has healed any physical discomfort from their maiden attempts at making love with each other and had helped to blur the initial awkwardness and embarrassment as well.

Cross had actually picked up his phone many times only to weigh it indecisively in his hand before putting it down again. He suspected, or rather hoped, that his friend was doing the same thing since there had been no reservation at all about contacting each other in the past.

Then one night, Yagari had finally called. Cross was at home then, listlessly switching through TV channels. He was so nervous and excited when he saw his friend's name flashing on the screen of his cell phone that he had almost dropped it. As it was, he had to take a couple of deep breaths before he actually dared to answer it.

After the initial awkward and much too hearty greetings, both men lapsed into silence. Cross didn't know that Yagari was feeling the exact same thing he was. How could he have known then? The uncomfortable silence continued to stretch, each of them breaking into a cold sweat as they waited, hoped and prayed for the other to speak first, both of them trying to breathe normally at the same time.

"Kaien"

"Touga"

How cliché. They'd spoken together. _Wonderful._

"Sorry, I – "

"OK, you first – "

Again! _Damn._

Both of them were silent for a moment. Then Cross cleared his throat, indicating that he was about to speak. "How – how have you been?" he asked cautiously.

"Fine. You?" Yagari's deep voice sounded clipped and more brusque than ever and Cross' heart sank. He should have said he was fine too, but he just... couldn't. He hated lies. He hated subterfuge. It wasn't that he couldn't lie if circumstances forced him to, he could and well enough too. But not in matters that were personal to him, not in matters of the heart. "Really?" he asked, unconsciously letting a note of hurt show in his voice.

Another round of silence issued. Then Yagari spoke again, sounding even angrier than before. "No, damnit! No, I'm not fine. I'm _not fine_ at all, Kaien! Damnit!"

The note of confused bewilderment in his friend's strident voice made Cross weak with relief. It showed he wasn't the only one who'd thought unceaselessly of what had happened between them that day. And it made it easier for Cross to confess now.

"Touga, I - I missed you."

A third round of silence ensued but no less filled with tension.

"Kaien, you – you're not just saying that, are you?" All pretence had been dropped. Yagari sounded almost exactly like how he'd sounded that night in Cross' kitchen when he'd been drunk. Hurting, vulnerable, confused... but mixed with unmistakable hope at the same time.

Cross shook his head then realised his friend couldn't see him. "No, I'm not," he said as steadily as he could. "I _have_ missed you, Touga. A lot. Heck, I'm missing you _now._"

A strangled laugh sounded at the other end of the line. "Then why the _hell_ haven't you called me before?" Yagari demanded, sounding angry and upset and relieved all at once.

Cross couldn't help chuckling right there and then – sheer relief was making him light headed and Yagari's almost petulant sounding words reminded him of how one of his more immature ex-girlfriends had sounded like when he didn't call her for two days. "Well, why haven't you?" he countered.

Another round of silence - Cross lost count of how many it was.

"I... wasn't sure if you wanted me to," Yagari finally admitted, sounding unsure. It made Cross' eyes prickle with something warm. "I was thinking the same thing, Touga," he admitted honestly. A throaty laugh came over the phone, even though it was now heavily laced with self-deprecation. "We're fools, Kaien."

Cross nodded emphatically, grinning like an idiot to the oblivious TV screen in front of him. "You said it."

A loud drawn-out sigh now sounded over the phone; it was so reminiscent of the sound Yagari would make when he stood up and stretched after sitting at his desk for some time, or after taking a long pull of beer. It meant he was at ease and relaxing. A small smile played about Cross' lips as he pictured his friend leaning back in his chair and running a hand down his face, yet another familiar gesture.

A more comfortable if rather shy silence ensued this time. After a moment, Yagari spoke. "So, when are you coming to see me?" he drawled, sounding quite like himself again.

And Cross' grew wider – he couldn't help it. "Anytime, my friend." _Now. Please say 'now', Touga..._

"How about now?"

Cross' heart gave a funny lurch in his chest, then started beating faster. A lot faster.

"I'm on my way," he promised.

- o -

When the phone call ended, Yagari took a quick shower, even shampooing his already clean hair. He dressed in a fresh shirt and jeans then shaved, stopping himself just before he actually splashed on aftershave. After running his fingers nervously through his wavy, wet locks, he tied on a blue silk eye patch. It reminded him of the conversation he'd had with Cross on his past birthday, when the ex-hunter had presented his gift. Cross had been adamant that he didn't want his friend to hide his scars in front of him and Yagari didn't want to... but he wasn't too sure about that now.

Hands clenching by his sides, Yagari glanced from the little mirror on his dresser to the bed beside it. Crap, he hadn't made it. Well, OK so he hardly ever made his bed anyway but with company coming now... Ignoring the fact that usual company would remain in the living room and not venture into the bedroom, Yagari hurriedly straightened the rumpled covers and roughly plumped up the pillows, feeling unaccountably nervous and excited.

Excited? Yes, excited.

Nervous. _Hell,_ yes - that too.

Of course there was no assurance that there'd be any bedroom activity this time. In all probability, Kaien was just coming over to have a drink and maybe talk about returning things to the way they were before. But something inside Yagari's heart, something stubborn just wouldn't give up. It told him that it expected some kissing tonight. And some hugging. And a lot of steamy sex as well.

There. He'd said it. He expected that Cross was coming here because he wanted a repeat of what had happened last time. OK? Satisfied? His face flushed, his heartbeat uneven, Yagari growled at that annoying thing in his heart to shut the hell up. The hunter escaped from his room and started pacing up and down his small living room instead. He couldn't believe it – Kaien had missed him too. Yagari had been so scared of calling his friend, of dreading and hoping to get his call, of wanting to tell him everything, of being afraid to say anything...

Needless to say, Touga Yagari, cold, hard and ruthless master vampire hunter was a surprising bundle of nerves.

So what if they'd made love not once but twice? So what if the second time had been incredible and mind blowingly satisfactory? Painful but satisfactory. OK, so it had been mind blowing for him and perhaps a little painful for his partner...

Yagari mentally veered away from that thought. OK, so what if Kaien had said he loved him then? It could all have been a lie. Well... no, not a lie since Cross couldn't lie to save himself. OK, so he could but he wouldn't - Yagari was sure about that. But maybe they'd both just been deluded. Maybe Cross had changed his mind and didn't know how to tell him that. Maybe the ex-hunter had decided that what they did that day was a mere fluke and he didn't want his life partner to be a rough and scarred on the outside, soft and scared on the inside vampire hunter who couldn't even make up his own mind about his weird attraction to his good friend of the same gender. _God_… Yagari ran his hand down his face again – he was such a mixed up, screwed up...

His doorbell rang and Yagari's heart almost stopped beating in his chest before it started slamming even faster now, both with nervousness as well as anticipation. A faint sheen of sweat broke out on his skin. He and Cross weren't strangers. They'd seen each other before numerous times, they'd been close friends for at least a year. They'd thought nothing of meeting each other over dinner or drinks. But Yagari still felt unaccountably like flushing when he opened the door and saw Cross standing there.

"Kaien"

"Touga"

Bless Cross – even behind his spectacles, his clear brown eyes mirrored the same confused hope that Yagari felt. The dark haired hunter pulled his door wide open and jerked his head in silent invitation before turning around, hoping that Cross couldn't hear the deafening sound of his heartbeat. "Come on in," he threw over his shoulder.

The ex-hunter complied silently before closing the door. Yagari had gone back to sit on the couch and was now staring intently at the newly switched on TV, both hands tightly gripping the TV remote control in an attempt to disguise their slight shaking. Cross gave the TV a surreptitious glance even though he didn't need to. Both the music and voiceover confirmed it was a detergent commercial. He then eyed the intent way Yagari was studying the commercial as if it contained the latest, groundbreaking news on how to kill a rampaging vampire in two seconds flat, that he had to commit to memory the first time.

If Cross didn't know any better, he'd say his friend was nervous. _Almost_ as nervous as he was. Yes, that was it. Yagari was nervous.

Despite the fact that this should have made Cross feel better, it didn't. It made the ex-hunter feel even more nervous. Because his friend's nervousness meant that there just _had_ to be something wrong about why he was here, in his friend' apartment at a quarter to eleven at night, a rather late time to be just visiting a friend, hadn't it?

But Yagari wasn't just a 'friend', was he? And Cross wasn't just 'visiting', was he?

No. No, he wasn't just a friend, and he wasn't just visiting either. He was here because he missed Yagari. He missed seeing his friend, talking to him, hanging out with him. And damnit, he missed kissing him as well. They'd kissed that night and the next morning as well, many times, deeply and intimately. Cross missed that.

He also missed what had happened besides the kissing, too.

_Heck_, he almost even missed the pain.

But Yagari was refusing to look at him now and Cross didn't know what to do or what to say. He could only say so much, after all - Yagari had to meet him halfway, right? The ex-hunter sighed, a soft, hopeless sounding sigh. "I – I'd better go," he muttered to no one in particular.

As he neared the front door however, Yagari sprang into action. His knee knocked over the small coffee table in his haste but that didn't stop him. One moment, Cross' hand was reaching for the doorknob. The next, he was caught by both shoulders before being yanked backwards forcefully. Caught off balance, Cross found his back slamming into the wall adjacent to the door. His wide brown eyes behind their spectacles were suddenly looking at a furious-enough-to-kill Touga Yagari.

Then the dark head swooped down and Yagari kissed him. A passionate kiss that stopped just short of being violent, filled with pent up longing, confusion and frustration. A kiss that bruised Cross' soft mouth and forced his lips open. A kiss that demanded that he didn't do anything except reciprocate in kind but Cross did so willingly. His hands went up to spear trembling fingers through the damp and fragrant masses of Yagari's wavy hair and he pulled him even closer, angling his own face for a better fit as tongues mated wildly.

The kiss only gentled after Yagari finally realised his friend wasn't going to pull away. It grew less violent and more passionate... and when it finally ended, both men were panting hard, their hearts pounding in their chests, flesh throbbing to life as their hips pressed intimately together.

Despite the aggressiveness of the kiss he'd initiated, Yagari looked lost as he took a sudden step backwards, his hands falling back to his sides. Well, that was... sudden. He averted his gaze. Cross' glasses had been knocked askew, almost hanging off one ear. He removed it slowly with one hand, absently folding it before placing it in his coat pocket. "Thank God," he said huskily, his voice not quite steady.

The taller hunter's head snapped back and he frowned at Cross. "Huh? For what?" he asked.

Cross swallowed. He was going to make a fool of himself again. But then, he'd already broken up with his girlfriend for this, hadn't he? What else did he have to lose now?

"For the fact that kissing you still feels just as good, Touga," he replied, his eyes serious and honest even if his voice wasn't as steady as he'd hoped. The ex-hunter saw that Yagari's eye patch had slipped a little to one side. Without a word, he reached up and untied the tapes, slipping it off his friend's face and absently tucking it into his own coat pocket as well.

The blue eye closed in relief and Yagari's shoulders sagged as a deep and heartfelt sigh shuddered out of him. "Yeah," he said, just as shakily. He stepped closer and placed the palms of his hands on the wall, on either side of his friend's head. Cross's face tilted up a little and he continued to watch his friend steadily.

Then Yagari dipped his head again. This kiss was softer, gentler, almost tender. They took the time now to explore each other's mouths thoroughly, almost lovingly. The kiss took longer to end and left them more aroused than ever, their faces flushed with desire and their hips molded together.

Yagari swallowed. "Let's make love, Kaien," he suggested huskily, seductively, as he rested his hands on his friend's shoulders. Cross nodded almost fervently. "Yes," he agreed. But an unsure look crossed Yagari's face and he hesitated, taking a step back.

"What's wrong?" Cross murmured. _Please don't say no... not now._

Yagari's eye darted away, then back to his friend. "Uh, who... I mean, how?" he gestured vaguely between them. Hell, this was still awkward even if it had happened before. Whenever he'd progressed to the stage where he made love with his female dates, there had never been any question about who claimed who. But with both of them being healthy, well-functioning males... well, Yagari was suddenly less sure.

Surprisingly, Cross didn't look hesitant at all as he shrugged. "Does it matter?" he asked softly. "Either way, it's still making love, right?"

That made Yagari look at him for a long moment. Yes. This was one of the reasons why he was so intensely drawn to this man standing in front of him, looking back with that open, honest gaze. Cross had a knack of making complicated and impossible situations sound so easy. And it had to be this easy – Yagari refused to believe otherwise. So...

"Yeah," he agreed softly.

A small smile touched Cross' lips. It made Yagari ache to kiss him again. "You choose, Touga," the ex-hunter offered generously. And when Yagari still hesitated, Cross continued, "We can always switch around later, you know."

There was an unexpected note of teasing in that matter of fact voice and Yagari gave an uncertain nod, his heart warming. He bent forward to kiss Cross again but the ex-hunter shook his head. "Your bedroom, Touga," he murmured. "Now."

Yagari nodded again, surer this time. His eye still on Cross, he reached for his friend's hand and led him to his bedroom. Both their hearts were racing with excitement but neither of them said anything. Both men were also holding hands, fingers twining intimately together, unconsciously drawing strength and support from each other's touch but neither said anything as well.

Why bother to say something that they already knew was obvious?

-- The End --


	2. Chap2 : Missing lemon from BR Chap 10

**Author Notes:** Oh dear again! I really thought that Chapter 1 was a one shot and that was it, but then again, I can't seem to keep to one shots! _–moans–_ My apologies for saying this story is complete to those who alerted this fic because here now is the second chapter! And hopefully the last one too. No, I really mean it! _–grins– _

Oh, and if any of you are as enamoured of Kaien Cross and Touga Yagari as I am, please, please read AND review **somewhere-there**'s From This Day Forward, an absolutely wonderful CrossxYagari story... but only after you read and review mine please, coz otherwise, I fear it will be completely overshadowed by hers! :D

**Summary:** How the 'long standing tradition' that was mentioned in Chapter Ten of my CrossxYagari story Brief Reflections actually started.

-- Chapter Start --

Touga Yagari was a bundle of nerves – again. Here he was on the day of his good friend and lover's birthday, and he hadn't gotten him a present. It wasn't that the one eyed master hunter had forgotten about it – on the contrary, he'd been thinking about nothing else for the past one week. It wasn't that he didn't have any money to purchase a gift either, he did... if he could only think of what to buy.

And that was it – Yagari couldn't. He didn't know what to get Kaien Cross. To give him something tangible, like an article of clothing - a new scarf, or a pair of gloves seemed so... trite. That was something you gave to your father, or a distant relative or a casual friend; not to someone who made your life worth living again, who didn't care a hoot that you had lost an eye and would forever have to wear an eye patch out in public. Even if they were beautiful, custom made and fitting blue silk ones... and most importantly, who looked at you, kissed you and loved you like you were someone worthy.

Yagari still didn't know if he was worthy or not but that was the thing about Cross. He made the act of loving whoever he wanted to seem right, even if no one else thought so. He'd taken into generous, loving heart an orphaned little girl, an orphaned young male pureblood and an orphaned young human boy turned vampire - Yagari's own ex-pupil, in fact. Mild mannered Cross may be but no one was able to persuade him from letting two of those three mismatched children into his house and all three of them into his heart.

And now, the ex-hunter had even made room for one more. His best male friend who looked like a modern day pirate with his long, wavy black hair, eye patch, perpetual cigarette, high boots and cowboy hat. OK, Yagari knew he was more tough on the outside than he was on the inside but most people didn't know him on the inside the way Kaien did. Like how that tough facade hid a heart that had been hurt painfully before. A scarred and hurting heart that had craved love, acceptance and tender care as much as the next person, even if its owner didn't quite know how to show it like Cross did.

So what could Yagari give his lover for his first birthday since they'd gotten together? A soft toy perhaps? One of those gigantic bunny or rabbit shaped soft toys that were unbelievably soft and fluffy to the touch, complete with scarily huge eyes and a cute, pouting expression? The dark haired hunter had a feeling Cross might actually appreciate something like that - if Yagari could bring himself to actually carry one to his home, even gift wrapped. It would make him look like such a sissy. Him - Yagari - not Cross. Despite his quiet and even eccentric demeanour the older man portrayed while out in public, Yagari knew it was only a façade. The Kaien Cross he knew was honest, strong, brave, clever, fiercely loyal, generous and loving to a fault. The way he looked at you - God, Yagari could get lost – and often did lose himself – in the clear, open, honest, brown eyed gaze of Kaien Cross. Particularly if he was about to kiss you or let himself be kissed by you. And his hands - Yagari could get hard just thinking about those hands. And he hadn't even come to the part where he would lie on his back and let Cross kneel in between his parted legs...

The tall, one eyed hunter mumbled a curse and shifted a bit in his chair, swearing that he was going to get a bigger size for his next pair of jeans. His eye stared unseeingly at the half written report in front of him and as far as he was concerned, the Hunter's Association office that was teeming with hunters might as well be empty for all the attention he paid to the hustle and bustle around him.

But after a minute or two, Yagari's eyebrows narrowed thoughtfully. Actually, there was something he could give to Cross on his birthday. But it was something so personal and so intimate, he shied away from the very thought. It was something Cross had wanted to give him as far back as two months ago but Yagari had said no, he wasn't ready for it. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready for it. But now... Yagari focused on the desk calendar on his desk. Yes, perhaps he could do that. For him - for Kaien.

- o -

"Hey, Touga," Cross smiled as he opened his front door and feasted his eyes on the familiar but most welcome sight of his best friend and lover. Yagari was dressed in his usual gear but sans hat this time and he offered a crooked grin. "Happy Birthday, Kaien," he said quietly.

Cross' brown eyes darted a quick look at Yagari's empty hands. "Thanks! But what's this, no present for me?" he teased and was surprised to see his friend shift about a little consciously. "Ah, that will come later," Yagari mumbled, not quite meeting his friend's gaze. Then he changed the subject abruptly. "Come on, we don't want to be late otherwise they'll cancel my reservation..."

Reservation? Wow, where to? Cross' eyebrows rose higher but he closed his front door before following the other silently, wondering what his lover had in mind. Other than sex, that is - he was sure that was on the menu tonight, too.

Well, dinner turned out to be perfectly grilled steaks, mixed vegetables and mashed potatoes that they washed down with icy cold beer at a swanky Western styled restaurant. It was good... but it was what occurred back at Yagari's apartment later that lingered on in their memories.

- o -

_Two hours and many passionate kisses and hugs later..._

Yagari kissed a slow, moist trail from Cross' mouth down to his softly heaving chest, paying special attention to the white scar lines that decorated the ex-hunter's right shoulder. Beneath Yagari's warm lips, the pale skin was damp with perspiration and he lapped it up, loving the familiar, slightly salty scent. Slowly, tantalisingly, he made two leisurely detours to either side, taking a sensitive and eagerly hardened nipple into his mouth in turn and adoring the nub with both tongue and teeth. This he went about with a very gentle and light touch. Yagari had found out that his lover was most receptive with feather light touches and true enough, Cross was panting on the rumpled sheets beneath him, his head arching back on the pillows as he mumbled semi incoherently. "Touga... uh, you know I can't stand that-"

Yagari smiled against a swollen and puckered nipple, flushed rosy pink. Yes, he knew... but more was yet to come. He finally released the aching, sensitised flesh from his mouth and moved to the other as he stroked his lover's quivering thighs with calloused hands and fingertips, his elbows braced on the sheets on either side of Cross' naked hips. The dark haired hunter loved how the ex-hunter's skin felt almost femininely soft and smooth against his roughened hands.

Cross' breathing became even more erratic as his other nipple was delightfully teased, his clear brown eyes glazed now with passion. He was grasping his lover's tautly muscled shoulders with both hands but his fingers loosened their hold on the perspiration slicked skin as Yagari moved steadily downwards. But that was OK, because he knew his lover would stop once he'd reached his navel. Yagari never ventured any further than that. Cross would though, or would have if his lover had permitted it.

In the six months since they had become lovers, both men had gotten bolder, more experienced and less awkward with loving each other. It no longer felt odd to make love to a male who had pretty much the same design you had. In fact, it was better because they could each take turns to claim and to receive, and they did. So both Cross and Yagari knew what felt good, what didn't and how prepping each other was a necessary part of foreplay both impart pleasure as well as reduce the pain of penetration. Unsurprisingly, Cross was the better of the two at prepping. His fingers were more gentle, skillful and he had no qualms whatsoever about going deep and even making his lover come before claiming him, although that eventually happened as well. It wasn't that Yagari was unskilled or even rough with Cross in turn. He too, was gentle and caring, and he thoroughly enjoyed seeing his lover squirm and moan with pleasure at his doing. But he preferred to use his fingers for foreplay only and leave the orgasms to after he had claimed Cross, or been claimed by him.

The ex-hunter understood that, just like how he understood their differences of opinions with matters outside the bedroom. And even in the bedroom, he understood and respected the boundaries each of them had. He didn't mind that Yagari was more conservative when it came to other means of delivering pleasure even if sometimes, he wished his lover would let him do what he wished.

Cross' breath hitched in his throat and he groaned breathlessly as familiar, strong fingers closed around his stiff erection and began to pump him slowly but thoroughly. But fingers weren't the only thing teasing him now. With a start, Cross realised that Yagari's lips hadn't stopped at his navel as he usually did but had progressed well below, to more... well, more sensitive places. Cross' head lifted off the pillow immediately and he looked down at his friend who was now crouched between his legs, long and tangled curls obstructing his face. "Touga? What – uh, what are you do– aah!"

Cross broke off on a cry of surprise as warm lips settled at the base of his length and slowly slid upwards in a series of soft and tentative kisses along the underside of his erection. The ex-hunter gasped in disbelief, his quivering body jerking with each tender, moist kiss.

_Unbelievable. _Yagari was actually doing this? But why? And he'd not let Cross do it to him all this while!

Relief blossomed in Yagari's heart as he pressed his lips insistently against his lover's hard flesh and heard him groan and jerk in response. It was all right after all because it didn't feel as repulsive as Yagari thought it might have. Cross' scent was surrounding him, it was something he enjoyed and Cross' skin here was as smooth against his lips as it had always felt against his fingers and palms, or even buried deep within him. Slowly, Yagari kissed and licked his way up that throbbing shaft until he stopped just shy of reaching the rosily hued head.

Cross' laboured breathing hitched again when Yagari finally looked up, heated determination blazing from his one blue eye as he held his lover's amazed gaze steadily. The dark haired hunter brought his face up a little, chiselled and moist lips hovering about an inch above the engorged, weeping tip of Cross' arousal. The ex-hunter swallowed hard. He was dreaming, he was sure of it despite how hard he was now and despite how good it felt. No way in _hell _was Yagari going to actually take him in his–

Yagari gave a sudden smile upon seeing the sheer disbelief in his lover's eyes, a smile filled with seduction mixed with pure devilry. Cross actually stopped breathing and just waited, his throbbing flesh standing erect, fully exposed and completely at his lover's mercy.

Then the dark head dipped.

Despite half expecting it, Cross gave another startled cry, hips jerking up helplessly as warm lips and a warmer tongue pressed a passionate kiss directly onto the rosy tip. The ex-hunter had barely dragged a much needed breath into his lungs when Yagari suddenly took him in deep, making Cross expend his hard won breath in a muffled scream barely a half second later. "Oh God, Touga!"

Now that he'd started, Yagari found it actually quite enjoyable. His looked up again, taking in Cross' reaction , drinking in every breathy moan and mumbled curse as he released his lover's length from his mouth before going down to claim him again and again. He teased the engorged tip with his tongue, knowing full well how sensitive it was and smiled inwardly at yet another muffled scream and a plea to please stop now.

Yagari finally released Cross from his mouth, giving the trembling ex-hunter a momentary respite. He ran his calloused fingertips lightly up and down the moist, straining length, watching avidly as Cross closed his eyes, his hips shifting about on the sheets and his mouth moving soundlessly as he struggled against pleading for Yagari to do that again – it felt incredible but even at this moment, Cross didn't want to ask.

Yagari shifted up a little, balancing his weight on his elbows as he offered his friend a serious look, ignoring his own arousal throbbing wildly in his jeans. "Do you want more of this, Kaien?" he asked softly with pretended innocence. Cross thought of denying it, then realised he was already nodding eagerly. "Yes, yes, but – but only if you don't min- unh!"

Yagari hadn't waited for him to finish, he'd shifted down again and was now teasing him mercilessly with his mouth, dark head bobbing up and down insistently as he pushed Cross closer and closer to a finish the ex-hunter suddenly feared. "No – wait! Touga, wait, damnit! I – I can't –" With difficulty, Cross pushed himself up onto one elbow, his other hand reaching out to grasp a fistful of tousled black curls. "Crap, I'm going to – hey, are you even listening to me?!"

Yagari wasn't because he was suddenly afraid he'd stop if he did. He knew what was going to happen, he knew by now how close to orgasm his lover was. But he didn't want to do things halfway. And more than his own, slightly squeamish feelings, he suddenly wanted to see Cross like this – helplessly undone, ecstatic with pleasure that was solely _his _doing. Silently, he shook off Cross' weak grasp and looked up. There was a moment when they just stared at each other, the hunter determined to continue, the ex-hunter teetering on the verge of a strong and unstoppable orgasm, mouth open in shock at the sudden realisation of his lover's actual intent.

Then the dark head dipped again. Warm lips closed resolutely around him before strong, white teeth lightly grazed over the pulsing, rosy tip. That was all it took – Cross exploded magnificently, screaming as he came. His pleasure shot out in warm spurts, staining his lover's face again and again. It actually stunned Yagari for a couple of seconds before he remembered to take his lover in his mouth again, sucking on that pulsing length intently to squeeze every bit of pleasure from him. The dark haired hunter was no stranger to the scent of the expelled essence but it did feel strange to actually have some of it in his mouth – that was a definite first. The fact that it wasn't even his own felt even... stranger.

Luckily, the deep satisfaction of seeing Cross' wonderful reaction helped to balance the disgust factor and Yagari was able to smile genuinely as he finally released Cross' spent erection and wiped his hand across his mouth and cheek. Then he moved up the bed to lie beside his still panting lover, where he grabbed at a couple off tissues from the box on the nightstand to wipe off the warm residue on his face and fingers.

After a couple of minutes, Cross finally opened his eyes. His breathing was almost back to normal and he enjoyed the feel of gentle fingers combing through his long hair. "Touga?" he murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Come closer..."

Yagari shifted closer, his head propped on one hand as he continued to caress his lover's hair with his other. Then he lost his balance as Cross reached up and suddenly pulled him down for a deeply passionate kiss. "I love you, Touga, but - why the hell did you do that?!"

Cross was still feeling a little weak from his stunning orgasm and he could taste himself clearly on his lover's mouth – the knowledge stirred him deeply. Yagari smiled, Cross's voice sounded sexy as hell when it was all slurred like this, especially when he threw in an unexpected curse. Then his smile disappeared. "I don't know," he admitted. "I guess... because it was something you want-" He broke off when Cross glared at him.

"It was what _I _wanted to do to _you_, and not what I wanted to have done to _me_," he corrected almost sternly. "Not that I mind at all what you did just now – it was amazing – but... but–" It was the ex-hunter's turn to break off now and he frowned. "Touga, did you feel that you had to do this?" he asked suddenly. "Because if you did –" A quick kiss stopped the rest of his words then Yagari drew back to shake his head solemnly at his lover. "No, Kaien, you didn't force me. I – I wanted to do this. For you," he admitted huskily.

The flood of dreaded tears came almost at once and Yagari tried his best to ignore them as well as the very audible sniff his lover gave. "Thank you," breathed Cross, linking his arms around his friend's neck for another hug and passionate kiss. It lasted even longer and when they finally broke apart and Yagari had sat back up, the ex-hunter sighed. "And I want to do the same thing back to you, you know," he murmured huskily. "As soon as I can actually sit up, that is..."

To Cross' surprise, Yagari shook his head again. "Nope. This is my birthday gift to you, Kaien. If you want to do the same thing, you'll have to wait for my birthday." _And I'll definitely be looking forward to it..._

Cross pouted. "But that's months away!" he protested. Then he stilled suddenly before a look of wonder filled his eyes. It made Yagari look at him uncertainly. "What?" he asked somewhat suspiciously. Cross smiled at him a little shakily. "It's... like a tradition, then?" he asked, his voice a little tentative and his eyes tearful again.

_A tradition all our own..._

Yagari smiled deprecatingly even though his heart was leaping. "Yeah, I guess," he shrugged casually. Cross nodded and smiled as well, his hands reaching up to glide smoothly over his lover's bare chest before slowly moving downwards. Yagari's breath hissed out through his teeth as gentle hands brushed over the still throbbing arousal through the material of his jeans. Cross looked down at the telling bulge, then up at him. The look in his eyes made Yagari's heart skip a beat and made him harder still.

"So... how do you plan to rectify this, then?" Cross asked softly, a teasing glint in his brown eyes. For answer, Yagari lowered himself onto the ex-hunter and swung them over, reversing their positions so that Cross was now lying sprawled on top of him. "I'd say it's your turn to do some work for a change, Kaien," Yagari rasped out, but his gaze was surprisingly tender as he looked up at his best friend and lover. Cross smiled even as he blinked away more tears. Yagari loved to act tough on the outside but how many people saw through that façade to the giving and trusting soul he was on the inside? No one but him, he was sure, and that only made Cross love him all the more.

"What? On my birthday?" he asked with mock dismay before he sat up, shaking his long hair back over his shoulders. Yagari nodded solemnly even as his blue eye gleamed. "Yup," he said as he reached over and pulled open the drawer on his nightstand before groping around for the half used tube he knew was inside. He handed it to his lover with a smile of anticipation, then undid his jeans and pulled them off.

Cross smiled back as he uncapped the tube and squeezed out some of its contents onto his fingertips before bending forward and offering his lover a gentle kiss. Yagari returned it thoroughly then lay back on the pillows, bending his knees and parting them even more. His eye closed and his mouth parted on a sigh as gentle fingers and cool gel found him.

Cross let his long, straight hair caress Yagari's bare skin as he alternated kisses and licks over the firm, muscular planes of his lover's chest. The ex-hunter supported his weight with one hand on the mattress while his other gently caressed and stretched Yagari, the hunter's pleasured reactions and the way his breathing hitched in his throat making Cross harden again with renewed desire. Still, he took his time, slowly adding one finger at a time and going deep enough to make Yagari curse softly with pleasure. His blue eye snapped open, smoky with desire as it focused on Cross and one hand moved up to grip the other's wrist, halting his persuasive actions. "Now, Kaien!" he rasped. "Or I'm going to come before you even take me!"

Cross grinned affectionately as he slid his fingers out obediently. "Well, we can't have that, can we?" he chided teasingly, both hands sliding to Yagari's inner thighs to stroke them and coax them even further apart. Then he moved closer still before he leaned forward and braced both elbows on either side of Yagari's head. "I love you, Touga," he murmured as he dropped another gentle kiss on his friend's lips.

"I know," replied Yagari and he groaned as Cross rocked forward, claiming him an inch at a time as he slowly and purposefully thrust his hips back and forth. He liked doing this gently but it often drove the dark haired hunter out of his mind. Yagari wrapped his long legs around his lover's waist, gritted his teeth and pulled resolutely. Cross found himself sliding forward in a smooth motion, slowly filling Yagari satisfyingly and achingly deep. The hunter relished both the pleasure and the pain of the joining as he felt his lover stretch him to his limits.

Cross cried out softly as he found himself enveloped in tight, moist heat and he had to swiftly brace his weight with both hands to avoid falling onto Yagari. It wasn't the first time the hunter had done this but it never ceased to catch Cross off guard either. "Hey, don't be in such a rush, Touga!" he gasped. "Take it easy, will ya?"

But Yagari only grinned up at him. The pain was decreasing now and definitely bearable since Cross had prepped him properly and was staying very still now, instinctively giving his lover time to adjust to his possession. Yagari's large hands slid up either side of Cross' smooth hips, over his ribs before clamping onto Cross' upper arms. "Not gonna. Take me deep, Kaien."

Cross smiled ruefully, his clear brown eyes filled with affectionate amusement at his lover's impatience. "I will," the ex-hunter promised. He supported more of his weight on his hands then started rocking his hips again, taking Yagari to the hilt with each purposeful thrust, slowly gaining momentum as his lover's hands on his arms tightened their grip, his hoarse voice urging him on, lean hips pushing up to meet his thrust each time.

They moved together on the bed, their movements more synchronised and not quite as awkward as when they had first started. Flushed skin slid against flushed skin, heated gaze met heated gaze as hips thrust hard and buttocks flexed. Yagari's strong legs were clamped tightly around Cross, his breathing coming out in shortened gasps as he pushed back hard against his lover, urging him to take him deeper and harder each time. The hunter was relishing that sweet ache of his tightly stretched body that was almost, almost assuaged by the jolt of raw pleasure that burst deep inside him with each movement.

It was perhaps a little strange, that Yagari should enjoy his lover's possession so much but this was Cross, someone he knew and trusted more than anyone else, more than even his ex-wife. This was someone who had seen past the hard but brittle mask he wore to the person he really was on the inside. Cross made Yagari believe that what they had was something beautiful, that he, too, was beautiful and worthy of being cared for like this.

There was no shame in Yagari's voice as he cried out in passion roughened tones to the one he was now deeply joined with. Cross obliged, determined to give his lover everything he had now. It was perhaps a good thing he had come once earlier because it was extremely arousing to him to hear Yagari's voice urging him on, not to mention the hug of that tight, tight body that was playing havoc with his faltering control.

Raw, sexual tension coiled tight in both their bodies and more blood rushed to pool warm and full in their groins. The pleasure was almost too much to handle and Cross' hands slid around Yagari's back, holding him tightly so that chest pressed against chest and thundering heart raced against thundering heart. The ex-hunter's gasping breath was shuddering out past the hunter's ear as he fought to stay in control, to not lose it just yet...

Yagari groaned as the increased body contact caused his throbbing arousal to be trapped between his as well as Cross' abdomens. The salty moisture on their skin was causing unbearable, incredible friction with each of their movements. Yagari had been achingly hard for some time now and coupled with the ex-hunter's deeply possessive thrusts and the deliciously sensitive spot within him that gladly suffered the brunt of each of those thrusts, the hunter gave in to the mind blowing ecstasy as the tension in his body exploded. Yagari's body jerked hard with deep shudders of raw pleasure as he pumped out his warm passion between their bodies, crying out sharply with each jerk, his arms looped tightly around his lover's neck.

Cross's movements speeded up as he both felt and heard Yagari's orgasm. His heart warmly fulfilled at having achieved his lover's satisfaction, the ex-hunter raised his hips a little now and drove repeatedly into the other's body, driving himself to his own release. With Yagari's husky cries in his ears, it didn't take long before Cross reached another intense climax, coming deep inside his lover with soft, shuddering cries. He finally collapsed onto the dark haired hunter and was immediately held close to him, his wildly pounding heart and trembling body soothed by calloused hands that caressed his glowing skin with a butterfly's touch.

Minutes passed... perspiration helped to cool their bodies as pounding hearts slowed down together. "I love you, Touga," Cross murmured again, tiredly this time as he dropped soft kisses on the damp and flushed skin of the strong shoulder his head was pillowed on.

A tender, wondering smile curved Yagari's lips and a sweet ache filled his heart. "I'm glad you do," he replied softly. Cross raised his head and kissed him thoroughly but when he pulled away, he saw the hesitancy in Yagari's blue eye. Cross simply smiled at him before lowering his head to tenderly kiss the scars running over his lover's missing right eye. "You don't have to say it back to me, you know," he murmured. "I already know you do," he added.

Yagari's lips parted as he blinked back an unexpected sting in his eye. He found Cross' understanding smile beautiful to see and its sincerity touched his heart deeply. "Thank you, Kaien," he choked out, pulling his lover down for another hug.

_Thank you for accepting me... thank you for loving me._

-- Chapter End --


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